Just a quick post because I can't get this out of my mind. I'm just amazed at the things people say. I know they just don't get it and they mean well but unless you've walked in our shoes, you just don't get it.
Rob visited BAMC (Brooke Army Medical Center, where he worked last year and will hopefully be back to in just over a year). He was talking to one of his former classmates/coworkers. What she said is something Hope Mommies (& Daddies) hear all too often - "But you're still young, you can have more kids." BUT WE CAN'T HAVE HER AGAIN! What makes this different, she is a mom to 2 year old twins and is due again in July. That makes her 7+ months pregnant. I hope I wasn't that way, I really don't think I was. How can she be so clueless when she's carrying a child inside her womb at this very moment? You mean to tell me, she'd be okay if her baby died; after all, she's still young, too. Luckily I wasn't there when she made this comment.
I just have to remind myself, she really just doesn't get it. And I have to forgive her for making that comment. It is moments like this that I wish others could live in our shoes, for just one day. I would not wish this on anyone but if there was just some way they could understand a little better. But there's not...not without experiencing it themselves. I also have to thank God that I've found such an amazing group of Godly women that are (unfortunately) walking this road I'm on. Because they've been there, they get it. I wish they didn't. Isn't that an irony? I wish the ones who don't get it somehow could but the ones who do get it, I wish they didn't.
I'm starting to ramble so I'll leave it at that. On a side note, I feel like I'm seeing pregnant women and babies under 6 months old everywhere I look.
Ryan, I miss you baby girl. I keep seeing cute summer outfits, sandals, and swimsuits for you. I wish you were here with me but I know that's selfish. I'm sorry. You know how much I love you, don't you? As long as I'm here, I'll miss you.
We love you, Ryan Elizabeth.
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About Me
- Watts Family
- Rob & I met and started dating in high school. Yes, we are high school sweethearts. We dated (long distance) throughout college while Rob was in New York and I was in North Carolina and married on 11 June 2005. Rob began medical school that fall in NC. During the summer of 2007, we found out we were expecting our first child in April 2008. On 24 April, our beautiful daughter - Natalie Clark was born. Rob graduated medical school in May 2009 and we moved to San Antonio, TX for his intern year at Brooke Army Medical Center. In March 2010, we were joyed to find out we were expecting our second child. Rob graduated from internship in June and in September we moved to Heidelberg, Germany for Rob to serve General Medical Officer time as the Brigade Surgeon for the 18th Engineer Brigade. Our second daughter, our precious Ryan Elizabeth was stillborn 4 days after her due date on 23 November. We struggle each day knowing we will never see her grow up but also know each day brings us one day closer to holding her again.
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3 comments:
Whitney....
It is so sad....in so many ways....that we have to hear things like that. It is not something you EXPECT to hear from a woman who has carried a baby in her womb. It hurts so much to even read what she said. Ryan's life MATTERS...my baby Jack's life MATTERS!!! You're absolutely right....they do not get it.
I'm glad that God and others help you through...
Praying for you. I know how you feel and I hate that you are going through the loss of your sweet Ryan. The only way I have made it this far is by the Grace of God. He has been my comforter and my rock. He is my everything. Yes family has been there but God is the ony one who know how I feel and the only one who can be with me 24/7. Sending (((HUGS))) your way!!!
Words fail me sometimes when I read about what others have said or if I hear them myself. I too wish for a minute that others would know our pain and understand just how thoughtless and insensitive their comments are. I know that can never happen and in another way, I hope it doesn't. Children are not replaceable.
Wishing you much gentleness and love. I adore your little girl's name, it is so beautiful.
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